Taco Bell Mexi-Mood

So I was at my local Taco Bell today, hankering for some fat-laden, artery clogging grub. After all I did write this article yesterday. While there, I noticed this advertisement beckoning folks to come join their team.

It encourages prospective employees to "apply your energy!" In the photo on the ad, there is more energy than an all-gay Broadway production of "Hairspray." (Yes, I realize that "all-gay Broadway production" of anything is redundant.) Anyway, look at the energetic kids in this ad! Laughing, smiling, singing and dancing! You'd have to measure their joy on the Richter scale.

Impressed by the depiction of frenzied paradise that must surely be the "Taco Bell employment experience," I looked around my immediate environs for the thrill-ride reactions that the local employees must surely be displaying, since they were already 'applying their energy' to this particular establishment.

This was my finding. Initially I was slightly disappointed, but then I decided to give these fun kids the benefit of the doubt. All that energy expenditure must take a lot out of an individual. Perhaps it was just intermission. No doubt they were just briefly recharging their batteries for another wild, wacky episode of Evening Shift at the Taco Bell. Patiently I waited for the energy to infuse the room.

Tick, tock.

One girl cracked a smile. Was this it? Was that the cue for the energy explosion?

The smile faded. Tick, tock.

The drive up window cashier chatted briefly with the expediter. The cashier at the counter register ate something from a bowl. Some burritos were thrown into existence. Another employee stared at the wall for a bit. Tick, tock.

Slowly, it began to dawn on me that the energy depicted in the second picture was about as intense as it was going to get. I nearly broke down in tears at the letdown. There was no singing, no dancing, no jazz-hands. I had been hoping for a napalm-fueled happy bomb to go off. All I got was the Snap'n'Pop of Apathy.

I won't let that get me down, though! I am determined to find that Taco Bell where those advertisement people are employed. I want to apply my energy. I want to soak up their energy. There must be a Taco Bell establishment with enough energy to power a town, judging by the recruiting ad. I will find that restaurant. I will be guided by its glow. There will be jazz-hands. I will be joyful. Amen.