Thursday, October 15, 2009

Infallible EMS Dispatch Gets Balloon Boy Call

Emergency Computer Aided Dispatch system is put to the test...

Operator 1: “911, What is your emergency?”

Caller: “My 6 year-old son just drifted away in a helium balloon!”

Operator 1:“Can I have your phone number in case we get disconnected?”

Caller: “Yes, its 555-1234.” Oh, please, I don’t know what to do! It’s starting to drift away!”

Operator 1: “You say your son is floating away in a balloon?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Operator 1: “Hmm, I don’t see that in any of the emergency dispatch responses in the computer. Hold on a second.”
To Operator 2: “Hey, this lady says her kid's floating away in a balloon! Where is that in the computer?”

Operator 2: “Kid in a balloon? (scrolling through computer choices) I don’t see that either. Just go with “Generalized Weakness.”

Operator 1: “OK ma’am, I have it now. Is he conscious and breathing?”

Caller: “I guess so, he just climbed into the balloon. I can’t really see him right now. He’s a thousand feet overhead. Please send help!”

Operator 1: “I’ll send someone out. Is his breathing normal?”

Caller: “What? I don’t know! He’s breathing HELIUM!”

Operator 1: “Is he having any chest pain?”

Caller: “Are you kidding me? He’s in a freaking balloon!”

Operator 1: “I understand you’re anxious ma’am, but I need you to try and stay calm. I need you to answer my questions so we can get the proper response crews to you.”

Caller: (calming down) “OK, I’ll try. Please send someone; the balloon is drifting out of sight!”

Operator 1: “How old is he? Does he have any medical problems?”

Caller: “Six. And no, he’s perfectly healthy.”

Operator 1: “How long has he felt weak?”

Caller: “Weak? What are you talking about? Haven’t you been listening? He climbed into an experimental balloon I was building with my husband and it drifted away with him inside it?”

Operator 1: “Oh that’s right. Sorry, I’m trying to use the computer script for ‘Generalized Weakness.’"

Caller: “WHAT?”

Operator 1: “So the balloon drifted away with your 6 year-old husband and he’s feeling weak?”

Caller: “Oh my God!”

Operator 1: “OK ma’am, the ambulance is on its way. Do you want me to stay on the line till they arrive?”

Caller: “An ambulance? Why are you sending an ambulance? He’s in a freaking BALLOON! Thousands of feet in the air! What is an ambulance going to do?”

Operator 1: “Ma’am I need you to try to stay calm so I can send the proper response crews...”

Caller: “Oh sweet Jesus! Never mind, I’ll call CNN!” (Click)

Operator 1 to Operator 2: “What a bitch! Some people just don’t know how to speak to another human being.”

Operator 2: “So she canceled the call?”

Operator 1: “Yeah. Says she’s gonna call CNN. Freak. Like they’d be interested.”

Operator 2: “Hmph!”

(By the way, here is the ACTUAL 911 call:


dedhors said...

Must have been Shirley....

Anonymous said... Мир архитектуры и строительства.
Сайт посвящен: современная архитектура, архитектура и история,
галерея с 5000 фотографиями зданий, архитектурный форум и многое другое

Anonymous said...

Интересно написано....но многое остается непонятнымb

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Как жизнь? мм.. есть мега предложение по[url=] видео[/url] порталу Думаю вам понравится

[url=]Новинки кино[/url]
aнекдот для разнообразия :)

В ремонтной мастерской:
- У меня пылесос чего-то хреново работает. . .
- Чего, сосет плохо?
- Сосет-то нормально - пылесосит плохо!

Я 9 часов блуждала по сети, пока не вышела на ваш форум! Думаю, я здесь останусь надолго!
прошу прощения за опечатки.... очень маленькая клавиатуар у PDA!


Anonymous said...

Как дела? Может-быть... есть cупер мысль по[url=] видео[/url] порталу Думаю вам понравится

[url=]древнерусская тоска по сильной руке [/url]
aнекдот для разнообразия :)

Парень склоняет девушку к близости:
- До свадьбынелзья...
- ичего, до свадьбы зажживет

Я 8 чаксов блуждала по сети, пкоа не вышела на ваш фоурм! Думаю, я здесь останусь надолго!
пршоу прощения за опечаткаи.... очень малеьнкая клавиатура у PDA!


Anonymous said...

Nice post and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you seeking your information.

Anonymous said...

Мне вот кажется, что такое написать мог то ли креативный гений, то ли героиновый наркоман :(

Anonymous said...

У нас в Дагестане за такие слова могут и камням изакидать :(

Anonymous said...

Не очень люблю такие тексты %:(

Anonymous said...

В Вашей RSS нельзя получать полные тексты записей, что ли?